Well it’s come to that point in my life Blog Land. I am on the verge of becoming a thirty-year-old, it’s starting to hit me. Holy fartcycles and cranberry sauce, it’s actually right around the corner. What to do for the big 3-0…? Any suggestions? People keep telling me to jump off a plane, but I’m kind of over my “tempting fate” stage. I feel like two things might happen during these next few months: (1) I’ll become exceptionally good at video work and get nominated for an Oscar because of my accidental and amazing cinematography, or (2) I’ll become exceptionally good at knitting scarfs for my friends on the weekends–and they will call me “Scarf-Girl” which in turn will cause me to cry myself to sleep during that-time-of-the-month because deep down I’ll know that my womb will be craving some type of unborn baby—although, quite frankly, the idea freaks me out so much I want to vomit. But seriously, besides the idea of aging, which I have accepted already …. kind of…., what do I have to look forward in my thirties?
Well I have thought about some things that are gradually already shifting in my life, and I’m going to share them because I am a strange weirdo:
* I no longer walk into a bar/nightclub/party/gathering with pain in my lower back from sucking in all the air out of my belly. I let that thing be, and she is a happy plump jelly belly that likes to shake when she dances.
* When girls in their early twenties (who sound ridiculously familiar to how I used to when I talked about men) ask me for advice I chime in with, “Can I say something, but it’s totally my opinion and please take it with a grain of salt…” I proceed to be brutally honest but in the sweetest voice possible to mask the pain from my history with jerks.
* When my boyfriend doesn’t comment on my attire or hair or makeup — and who can blame the guy, I hardly do it — I take a look at my reflection in the bathroom or as we walk by window displays on the streets and give myself love and confidence. It feels great and everyone should totally try it. Go on, just wink at yourself.
* I am moving in with my partner/bf of six years and we are both equally scared and confused about this transition, but at least we make each other laugh and that’s cool.
* At this point in my life, I have great friends from ages 21-66 (not including family) who are living in all the continents I want to travel to. Some countries, for example, are Chile, Australia, Bali, Turkey, Canada, Mexico, England, and even Paris! #gonnaseetheworld!
* I am old enough to say, “Back in my days…” and reference cool movies that are now considered cult classics to the kids born in the 90s. Weird to admit, but this fact brings me both sadness and joy.
* When my little sister or brother don’t take my advice, crash and burn — I no longer hang it over their heads. I hug them or take them out to help them forget that I WAS RIGHT AND THEY WERE WRONG. #growingupbeeches
But there is so much more to look forward to, I am sure there is. I am still conflicted on what to do for my birthday month or my party … should I have one? Ugh, gross. I don’t know. So Blog Land, if you have any cool ideas or suggestions please bring them to the pot. I’m still figuring it all out. For the time being, I am going to enjoy the fact that for dinner tonight I had grapefruit juice and brussels sprouts. What–WHAT?! Who’s an adult NOW?!