It’s inevitable. We’re getting old. And by “We” I mean ME – I AM GETTING OLD. JAY-SUS! It’s terrible. It’s terrible and wonderful and weird and unicorn farts!
There’s new slang all around me, dog-nabbit living in a college town! What the @#&# is “juju”? There are new digs kids are wearing, when did looking like the Brawny man become a style? Blog Land I can’t keep up!! My body is getting slower, my “to do list” is getting longer, and my hair….well, thankfully my hair is still fantastic — wild and healthy. Also, there are these off the wall “funny” videos, that I frankly find disturbing and outrageous. Why is a man pealing off his own nipple with a metallic scrubs so hilarious?! WHY HENRY?! (<–Dear Henry, I will never get this image out of my head).
Today I walked into one of my jobs (a college prep high school) to oversee some video editing jobs the kids were doing for their film show this Friday. One of them walks in late and says, “Where’s the lady who’s going to help us?”
A. She didn’t realize I was in the room because sometimes when I’m hunched over my computer I look like a depressed emo kid in high school.
B. She called me a LADY.
Lady. Well, I can’t really be that mad, it wasn’t a bad word. But yes, I am freaking out a little bit. Not entirely because of the age thing either — but because of TIME. Time is slipping away and I’ve only accomplished 5% of my bucket list. What is happening? Why is everything moving so fast? What next? HOVER BOARDS!! (Please God let there be hover boards by 2014). Back to the Future never gets old…or does it? Ugh, I don’t know. Am I dating myself?
The cherry on top was me opening up to my boyfriend yesterday and basically telling him I’m okay with having babies now. What the @#&#?! Not cool brain, not cool! Why is human biology so weird? Internal clocks are so messed up ladies. Just five days ago I was thinking about renting a baby in my forties, and yesterday after having a good evening I was yapping away about … “Hmmm, I guess it wouldn’t be horrible to have a little person.” This is outrageous. Outrageous!
And yet so very very interesting. Long live the mysteries of life, people. Anyways, I had to vent. So there. Fantasies,fairies, and farts to you all.