MIDNIGHT POST 4 aka Self-esteem

Bloggers of the WordPress World,

I have a confession.  Sometimes, I doubt myself. Sometimes, I doubt my art. I doubt myself to a point when I start to think negative thoughts, like: LIS MORENO = FRAUD. There I am, sharing something insightful about a personal experience that enhanced by art when all of a sudden I feel like dangling neon arrows suddenly appear around me — pointing and flashing: NOT GOOD ENOUGH, PROCRASTINATOR, DREAMER, DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS MADWOMAN—SHE IS WEIRD, etc. etc. etc.

Why do artist tend to be their own worst enemies? 
Why can’t we be content with our work?
Why this constant desire to fall into the traps of FAME, when in reality—all Art is is an expression of life. A need to connect with others? Why monetize that? 
When is enough, enough? 

I mean, I know—artists have to make a living. Of course there’s a reason to monetize the ART INDUSTRY, but does that mean forgetting who we are in the process? Does that mean censoring things you normally would never think of censoring just to be more…accessible?

My head hurts, lately.

Reader, I am lacking good ol’ fashioned self-esteem. I need some of that late 80’s and early 90’s Public Teen Announcements about loving who you are, saying no to bad stuff, and accepting yourself.        Lately, I’ve been taking criticism personally. I’ve been receiving the bad, and not deciphering the potential. I have not been MYSELF.

However, tonight, I was part of a performance called FROM THE FIELD TO THE TABLE — and it lifted my spirits as an artist. A young girl came up to me in the lobby and told me how lovely my piece was. My writing. My personal story. No, it’s not just my story. It’s not just mine—it’s ours. For who would I be now, if it were not for those who have been around me? People in my life who inspire and spark life into my work? In this case, my mom.

A human connection.
Why do we need to put a label on it?
Why do we need to give it a price?

It is what it is. And it is art.

Just say it.

I make Art.
I love Art.

We are Art.
We are connected through this love for Art.
Even here, in Blog-Land, the desire to connect with others is powerful. We follow things that similar interests to us—there’s a need to connect. The desire to know that we are not alone, as people….as artists. That we are searching, reaching, grabbing onto life and it’s amazing ways through our self-expressions/self-creations/selves.

It’s beautiful.
Self-esteem.

Breathe it in, and let it be.
Self-esteem.

I welcome you when  you are ready.

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