I just woke up to some crap gray light bursting through the cracks of my blinds and a slap to the ass. Wish I could say it gets kinkier than that, but no. It stops right there. Part of me is glad it didn’t go any further, I think my mouth guard doesn’t really fall under the category of sexy.

Remnants of black eye liner from the night before remind me of our late night excursion. It spreads towards my cheeks as if I had been crying, but no. I just sweat a lot when I share a bed with a man. Woah girl, what’d you do last night? Yeah, I know you want to know. I wish I could give you drama, reader. Was it a party? No. Was it a club? No. Did you get in a fight? Ha! Not since the third grade. No. No. It was a movie and ice cream night. And it was spectacu-LAR.

I lead an exciting life, as you can see.

Anyways, this morning of crap gray skies has inspired me to reach for some oatmeal. The life of cray cray party people like me need to have a break from excitement. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m too wild.

So I sat up in bed and pulled down some blinds to verify that indeed it was gray out. Indeed it is. As I opened both eyes, allowing the overcast brightness to shine on my greasy face, I smile through my mouthguard and enjoy the splendor of fog outside my window. Ah…to live in the bay.

Today I will OATMEAL away. I hope I still have some Apple Cinnamon left.


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